Red Flag / Green Flag
Compare relationship opinions and uncover alignment fast.
What it's for: Alignment on values, dealbreakers, and quirks.
How to play Red Flag / Green Flag
- Each partner reviews the same list of relationship behaviors.
- You independently mark each one as a red flag, green flag, or neutral.
- Midnight reveals where your views match, where they differ, and why that matters.
- Use the disagreements as starting points for honest conversation — not arguments.
When to play it
When you're dating someone new and want a low-pressure way to explore values, or with a long-term partner who's curious which deal-breakers have quietly shifted over the years.
Who it's good for
New couples Established couples Long-distance couples
Sample prompts and questions
A taste of what shows up in Red Flag / Green Flag. The full pool is larger and refreshes as you play.
- Checks your phone without asking
- Stays friends with an ex
- Keeps a separate bank account
- Texts back within an hour, always
- Splits the bill on dates
- Goes to therapy regularly
- Posts about your relationship on social media
- Says 'I love you' within the first month
- Doesn't drink alcohol
- Travels solo for weeks at a time
How to get more out of Red Flag / Green Flag
Answer for yourself, not for the relationship you want to look like
The whole value of the reveal is the gap between your two lists. If you mark things the way you think your partner wants them marked, the comparison screen tells you nothing you did not already agree on out loud.
Treat a mismatch as information, not a verdict
A behaviour one of you flags red and the other flags green is almost never a dealbreaker on its own. Usually it means the two of you learned different rules about it, from different families. Ask which rule they grew up with before arguing about who is right.
Run it again a year later
Deal-breakers drift quietly. Couples who replay this after a big change — moving in, a new job, a first child — routinely find two or three flags have swapped colour without either partner noticing.
The mistake most couples make
The most common failure is turning the reveal into a scoreboard. If one of you starts counting mismatches as evidence in an argument you were already having, stop the round and come back to it another day. The mode is built to surface differences, not to settle them.
Frequently asked questions
Is Red Flag / Green Flag judgmental?
No — it's designed to surface differences without scoring them. What's a red flag for you might be totally fine for your partner, and the point is to understand why.
Can I play Red Flag / Green Flag long-distance?
Yes. Both partners answer on their own iPhone at their own pace, and Midnight only reveals the shared view once you've both finished.
How long does a round take?
Most rounds are 5–8 minutes. You can stop between prompts and resume later — progress is saved privately to your shared space.
Can we add our own prompts?
Premium plans allow custom prompts so you can probe values unique to your relationship.
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Play Red Flag / Green Flag free
All games, mood tracking, shared widgets, and planning tools. Private by design. Free on iPhone.
Download on App Store